appropriate difference between the spouses

marriage

Marriage is defined as an association between a man and a woman in a formal relationship. This connection takes place according to the rules and ethics of the society in which the two partners live. Marriage aims to form a family and have children, and since the family is the foundation on which societies are built; Stable marriage means emotionally and psychologically stable individuals, thus building a strong, cohesive society.

Marriage is a strong bond that lasts until death (except in certain cases that may end in divorce). Marriage is a relationship unlike other relationships. It is a spiritual connection between two people who pledge fidelity, commitment, and sharing the challenges of life together. The concept of their ego disappears, and they are now one person. Their goal is to preserve... Family and raising children. Since marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman, each of them must have a role to play in this relationship that cannot be dispensed with or their roles changed. They complement each other, and one cannot replace the other, and the appropriate differences between them must be taken into account.

appropriate difference between the spouses

The difference in age

Most of the time, age is considered relative. With technological advancement and following a healthy diet, a person can appear younger than his actual age. Age has always been considered just a number that has no importance in a romantic relationship as long as there is harmony and love between a man and a woman. However, when entering into a marriage relationship, the factor of age difference should not be neglected. Because it has a large, important and influential role in the stability and continuity of marriage, as many studies indicate that the greater the age difference between spouses, the greater the possibility of their separation. Therefore, choosing the appropriate partner in terms of age depends on the primary goal of marriage, which is to create a family and have children. The older the spouses, especially the wife, the less opportunity they have to have children. Therefore, in most societies, men prefer to have a relationship with a woman who is younger than him.

It must also be noted that at the beginning of the marriage relationship, the age difference may not be a problem for both parties, but with the passage of time and advancing age, the younger partner collides with reality and discovers the mistake he made, and living with this difference becomes difficult, especially when some challenges arise, such as retirement and problems. The health condition that a person may suffer as he grows older. In addition, the greater the age difference between the spouses, the greater the gap between them. Each person has a different outlook on life and different choices and tastes as a result of their belonging to two different generations. Other problems associated with the large age difference include jealousy, insecurity, and the dominance of the older partner, as he always feels afraid that the day will come when his partner will leave him for another person who is similar in age to him.

In some cases, the marital relationship may succeed regardless of the age difference between the spouses, due to the existence of understanding and harmony between the spouses and their sharing of the same values ​​and goals, and following the same lifestyle, in addition to the two partners understanding the natural difference between them as a result of the age difference and accepting this difference. These matters are among the basics that Marital life is built on it and continues.

The difference in educational level

Parity in the educational level between spouses is considered one of the most important pillars for the stability and continuity of marriage. Intellectual and psychological compatibility between spouses is one of the basics necessary to create a healthy environment in which both parties feel comfortable and stable. The educational or cultural difference between the spouses may create many problems due to the difference in their way of thinking, their view of things, and the way they deal with the challenges that may face their relationship, in addition to the difference in the arrangement of priorities and personal goals, and sometimes the difficulty of dialogue between them. Because each of them has a different logic in their evaluation of things.

Despite the negative effects of the difference in educational level between spouses, this difference does not sometimes prevent the success of the relationship, but rather may be an incentive for them to face the challenges they may face in their relationship. Here we mention some tips that may help in dealing with the problems resulting from this difference:

• Maintain love and respect between them and avoid focusing on these differences.
• Honest dialogues between spouses about basic matters in the relationship, such as financial matters and personal goals.
• Search for interests and commonalities between them and try to focus on them.
• Understand your partner's goals, discuss his expectations about married life, and do not try to change them or influence him, such as if the more educated partner pressures his partner to complete his education when he does not want to.
• Do not try to force the partner to change himself in order to become a new person. Rather, the partner’s choices in life must be respected and accepted.
• There is no harm in resorting to outside help, such as attending training courses, or seeking psychological advice from specialists. These things help reduce the gap between spouses.

The difference in social level

Social parity between spouses is considered one of the most important factors for the success of the marital relationship, but parity does not mean identicalness in all matters, but rather that there be convergence on the social, intellectual and material levels, as the presence of social differences between men and women may cause many problems between them. Due to the difference in the environment in which they grew up, and usually the partner with the lowest social level is the most affected and sensitive. These differences create a feeling of inferiority in him, which results in a rift in the marital relationship, and a state of psychological instability in the family, which reflects negatively on the children. Also, the presence of large social differences between the spouses has an impact on their social image and people’s view of them, especially if they are The environment in which the couple lives attaches great importance to external appearances.

There is no doubt that social harmony between spouses is one of the basic components for the success of a marital relationship. It creates an atmosphere of understanding and harmony in the family, but the fact that there are differences between spouses should not be overlooked, and this is normal. However, it is possible to overcome these differences with love, understanding, respect, and accepting the other party as it is without trying to change it, in addition to using the language of dialogue to reach an agreement. A compromise solution that satisfies both parties regarding their life together.