Reasons for the difficulty of marriage

Difficulty in marriage

Marriage is considered one of the great goals and fateful decisions whose positive effects are reflected on the individual and society. It results in healthy, constructive relationships, happy families, and a stable society that grows and prospers over time. However, in some cases, the individual may want to marry and try and strive to take this important step, but he does not. He succeeds as a result of many factors and reasons that make marriage difficult and impossible, which he must face wisely and try to overcome them and not stumble because of them or feel frustrated and failed, and let these negative feelings control him, but rather work hard, be patient, and be optimistic, and try to solve them and manage them rationally and with awareness. To reach his goal and end with a happy marriage and a healthy, stable and fruitful relationship.

Factors and causes of difficult marriage

There are many factors and reasons that stand in the way of some people’s desire to marry, the most prominent of which are the following:

Psychological and personal factors of the individual

Some personal and psychological problems that center around the individual himself may cause him to remain single for a long time and make his marriage difficult, the most prominent of which are the following:

• psychological problemsThere is a series of internal feelings that cause a person’s marriage to falter and stand in the way of his success in finding a suitable partner for him, the most prominent of which are the following:
  • Fear, hesitation, and inability to enter into relationships or get close to others and communicate positively with them, especially the partner who was initially chosen; Because of weakness or internal fear of engagement, which prepares its owner for many problems and difficulties in the relationship, which makes him criticize his partner or himself, and creates imaginary reasons that prevent him from completing the engagement, reaching the decision to marry, and settling down together as partners in the end.
  • The presence of negative internal feelings that control a person and make him more selective in his relationships under the influence of previous attitudes or incorrect thinking, or a complete lack of awareness and maturity, such as: that betrayal is an absolute characteristic that everyone possesses, and that there is no reliable person who can be relied upon and believed in, or that Everyone is exploitative and inappropriate, or the appreciation he receives from his partner is insufficient, and his behavior towards him is inappropriate, and other misleading and wrong thoughts and feelings.
  • A person's low self-esteem, as he finds himself unqualified to engage in healthy relationships, that he is not worthy of attention and is unable to bear responsibility for the relationship, and this may amount to his automatically objecting to his appearance or his characteristics and behaviors without the other party expressing any objection to them, so he sees himself as not handsome. For example, or he is unsuccessful in managing relationship conflicts, and is incompetent and unqualified to bear the responsibility of marriage and family, and here his low self-esteem becomes an obstacle that hinders his marriage and sometimes causes the relationship to fail in its beginning.
• Influenced by previous relationshipsA person can be greatly affected by an old relationship that ended in a different way than he had hoped, such as a breakup, the death of a partner, etc., and its psychological effects remain strongly and deeply attached to him. He thinks that it is not possible to find someone like his partner, and compares everyone to him incorrectly and is more likely to... He stops him and sees him as ideal and complete, and his marriage becomes difficult due to his lack of awareness, fairness, and credibility when making choices, which in turn results from his being overly influenced by the personality of his former partner.
• The presence of a defect in one's own personalityA person’s inability to be open and communicate with others and be stable in his relationships with them may be due to his personality and incorrect methods of communication or dealing, which makes it difficult for him to find a suitable partner who gets along with him and understands him, so they end together with stability, reaching the decision of marital partnership, and establishing a healthy and successful life and relationship together.

Social factors

Family interference and opposition to marriage can be one of the reasons that lead to its difficulty and obstruction, and this matter varies from one family to another according to customs and traditions, or the individual perspective of the parents and according to the reasons that make them oppose this marriage, but there are matters that can be resolved and reached a settlement with them if the reason for their opposition is The connection is related to the partner’s personality, as they can get to know him more and change their idea of ​​him, or their view of their children if they think that the son is not worthy of bearing responsibility, or if he is still a university student or young, for example, or if he has not obtained a suitable job from which to spend money. On his family, and other matters that are resolved through understanding, dialogue, calm, and showing respect for the parents, and through the young man’s effort to prove his good faith and his ability to bear responsibility for his decision.

Health factors

The factors that may cause difficulty, delay, or obstruction of marriage for the individual who desires it are not limited to his personal characteristics and psychological problems, but may include some harm and health problems, as there are some infectious diseases that he may be infected with, which in turn can be transmitted to the partner upon marriage to him. Thus, it prevents this connection and makes it difficult, in addition to the possibility of transmitting some hereditary diseases to the children as well in the event of childbirth. These are important matters that must be taken into consideration and verified medically before taking the step of marriage. To prevent the spread of harmful infectious or hereditary diseases among members of society.

Economic factors

A successful marriage requires providing a healthy environment suitable for the family, commitment and taking responsibility for marital life at the various stages it goes through, and with the development of economic conditions and the increase in its difficulties, and the lack of many individuals about to get married to have stable and fixed jobs, and an appropriate income through which they can spend on the families they want to create. And bear her responsibility, and provide her with a standard of living that guarantees her a decent life. Marriage has become a postponed decision on their list of priorities, according to what the Pew Urban Institute indicates in its studies on categories of individuals who are not taking the step of marriage and who have reached the appropriate age for it, and the reason for the difficulty and delay of their marriage was difficult circumstances. They are experiencing low income and not obtaining an appropriate level of education that guarantees them stable, well-paid jobs, while the group who were able to marry and those who were about to marry were the highest in income and the best educated.