The reasons for the weak bond of love and intimacy between a daughter and her mother

The relationship between mother and daughter

It is possible to establish a strong friendship between a mother and her daughter, regardless of the difference of generations, the difference in cultural level, life experiences, and the difference in awareness and maturity that each of them possess, by overcoming misconceptions, accepting different interests and points of view, the predominance of respect and friendship, and tracking passion The strong bond between their hearts instinctively. The mother, in her purposeful role as a great educator for the children, enjoys a kind heart and tenderness, and strives diligently to consolidate her relationship with her daughter and understand her, and to bridge the distance between them. Sincere in befriending her and consolidating the relationship between them.

The reasons for the weak bond of love and intimacy between mother and daughter

Some situations and things occur that may cause the strong bonds between mother and daughter to weaken, and thus create a large gap and distance between them, and among these reasons are the following:

Negligence and insufficient attention

The daughter needs to talk to her mother about the various situations, matters, and developments that may occur in her daily life, in addition to the desire to express to her the feelings that remain stuck inside her and disturb her sometimes, and she may wait for her to take the initiative, show her interest in her, ask her about her conditions and find out what is going on around her, and evaluate her relationships with others. , and her friendships, support and assistance when needed, and therefore the mother must make her daughter one of the important priorities, give her enough time and listen to her, and take the initiative to ask what is bothering her if she feels tense or anxious, and in return the daughter resorts to frankness with her mother and informs her of developments and life situations, so she arises between them A deep and meaningful friendship that improves and supports their relationship.

miscommunication

Communication problems negatively affect the mother-daughter relationship, and it occurs due to many factors, and among the reasons for poor communication between them are the following:

• The difference in the way of thinking and the mother’s lack of understanding of the needs and requirements of her daughter, especially if the daughter is in adolescence, as she naturally follows a generation that differs in its behaviour, thinking patterns and requirements from the previous generation to which the mother may belong. And her desire to advise her, and sometimes she thinks that she is trying to obliterate her personality, and she does not trust her while others try to protect her and educate her more, and the reason for this is due to the mother’s wrong way of expressing feelings of fear, love and concern for her daughter.
• The nature of the mother's personality, which imposes control over her children, and desires to set strict rules and obliges the daughter to follow them and respond to them, although they may sometimes contradict her desires, and threaten her independence that she is trying to build and prove.
• The absence of external activities and events or non-verbal communication between mother and daughter, as is the case with males, which in turn brings them closer and increases harmony between them, such as practicing fun activities and hobbies together.
• The lack of meaningful family dialogue, which is a key to good communication, and a reason for consolidating relations, enhancing understanding between mother and daughter, removing misunderstandings, and reaching joint decisions that satisfy both parties, with the need to be open to thinking, accepting their differences and listening to each other, and the mother can also use modern methods of communication and writing through applications differently for her daughter as close friends, and give her an opportunity to express comfortably.

Lack of confidence and security

Trust plays an important role in strengthening relationships, maintaining their balance and stability, and may be a reason for weakening the bond of affection and intimacy that binds mother and daughter through the following manifestations:

• The mother's criticism of her daughter and her notification that she does not trust her behavior in an exaggerated manner, especially in front of others, which causes the girl's annoyance, hurt her feelings, and embarrasses her in front of the rest.
• The mother's lack of self-confidence, and the fear of dependence on her daughter as well and vice versa, and thus the lack of a sense of security and doubt about the sincerity of the affection between them, which affects their relationship, and results in each of them not believing in the truth of the interest, sincerity of the intentions, and loyalty of the other to her.

Other reasons for the weak bond of love and intimacy between mother and daughter

There are other reasons that affect the mother’s relationship with her daughter, and weaken it over time, and they are:

• The existence of an irrational competitive instinct between the mother and her daughter, which may push the mother to compete with her daughter and feel embarrassed and jealous of her, or cruel in dealing with her, which results in the daughter’s alienation and distancing from her.
• The lack of respect between the mother and her daughter, and the mother's use of inappropriate verbal methods that offend her daughter, and her treatment in an authoritarian and repulsive manner under the pretext of her dissatisfaction with the daughter's behavior, or her endeavor to correct her behavior using wrong methods that threaten their relationship.
• Inequality between children, where the mother prefers one of her daughters or sons over others, and the way she deals with him differs, or responds to him emotionally and cares for him more than the rest, which is reflected in their feelings with the passage of time, and is a reason for the daughter to move away from her mother later.
• The existence of some family disputes, or the daughter’s separation from her mother due to the divorce of the parents, for example, and her staying with her father, despite feeling the urgent need for her mother. Therefore, her feelings towards her may change with time, so she drifts towards her father more, or leaves a painful scar inside her that distances her emotionally from her mother and weakens her relationship with her.
• The mother's feeling of jealousy of her daughter's good relationship with another person, regardless of who it is, whether it is her husband, friend, or sister, and her resentment of her daughter's preference for others over her mother, and the assumption that she should be the closest person to her, so she turns away from her or avoids her.

Tips to strengthen the bond of love and intimacy between mother and daughter

It is advised to follow some methods and advice that enhance the relationship between mother and daughter, and support and strengthen it, including:

• Improving communication methods and methods based on each other's knowledge of the other's personality, and always resorting to frank feelings; To restore the balance of the relationship, and to achieve affection, love and intimacy between them.
• Both mother and daughter listen to each other, and try to understand what the other feels or wants; To avoid misunderstandings or disagreements that affect their relationship, and if disagreements occur, they must be fixed and managed quickly and correctly to maintain the friendship and good relationship between them.
• Tolerance and forgiveness, as everyone makes mistakes, and reconciling one person means caring for him, and therefore it is necessary for the mother and daughter to forgive each other’s mistakes and reconcile with them always.
• Each of them should be aware, mature, and understand the reality of the difference that does not spoil the friendship and love in relationships. It is not necessary for the daughter to agree with her mother, or vice versa, and each of them can compromise in some situations. To please and make others happy.
• Setting clear boundaries in relationships, as it is a reason to preserve them, so that the mother and her daughter agree on the things that must be done, and explain to her the prohibitions that harm her, or pose a threat to her health and her relationships with others; So that there is no controversy between them later due to the lack of prior agreement about it.