How do I make my son obey me?

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Children are the apple of a person’s eye and the joy he expects in this life. They are the source of happiness, contentment, and sociability in this world. In them, his life is sweetened, and on them he pins his hopes, but all of this depends on their good upbringing, the correct upbringing, and their upbringing in Islam, obedience to God Almighty, and love for others. If a person does this well, they will be an adornment of the life of this world. God Almighty said: (Money and children are the adornment of this worldly life) However, if a person does not succeed in the correct methods of raising children, and does not exert himself in doing so, and does not choose what is good for them, they become a scourge on him, and a source of trouble and misery in this world, and he will be held accountable before God Almighty for what he neglected in raising them in life. hereafter.

As days passed, education became more difficult and more complex than it was previously, due to the changes and external influences that have afflicted this time at all cultural, economic, media and technological levels. All of this gives children different behavioral patterns that are a heavy burden on parents and constitute a major obstacle in the path of good upbringing.

Skills that help the child to obey

Family awareness and the availability of a calm and peaceful home are important factors in following sound educational methods in raising children, and making the child obedient to his parents does not happen suddenly. Rather, it is an educational process that follows a set of methods, including:

• A good role model: A good role model has a great and effective impact on the child, as he imitates his parents in every big and small thing. Therefore, they must have high Islamic morals, avoid all bad behavior, and honesty should be their approach in the simplest types of transactions, and the child sees this through actions. And not words. Many parents try to teach the child not to lie, but he senses in his parents’ actions the opposite of that saying, and what he finds from the parents in terms of actions, not words, and obedience is implanted in his mind. If the parents show obedience to their parents or those who are older than them, The child grew up obeying them.
• Stay away from excessive blame and constant blaming; The child should not be reprimanded for every behavior he takes, because frequent reprimands and reprimands take the child out of the circle of concern and into the circle of indifference.
• Praying for the child; Supplication is one of the important things that parents must adhere to towards their children, so that God Almighty will help them raise their children, and help their children obey them. In doing so, they choose the times to respond to the supplication, so the heart softens, and mercy and familiarity spread between the two parties. On the other hand, God Almighty has forbidden parents. To pray for their children, because that is contrary to Islamic morals and the mercy that God Almighty has planted in the hearts of His servants.
• Giving the child his rights and implementing his desires and needs.
• Justice and equality in treatment between children and no discrimination between them, because discrimination generates hatred and aggression in the child, and it is difficult to find a child who feels inferiority and injustice to be obedient for a long time, as his obedience may be temporary and he soon announces his disobedience and rebellion to those around him.
• If the parents want the child to show obedience and adherence to what they want, they must show respect for him and appreciation for any work he does, praise him and praise his actions and skills, and make the child feel that he has a high standing and status with his parents, and that he is an effective human being who is important to them and that they are in constant need of him and his help. The child feels his value and the respect of others, and thus he obeys his parents and appreciates their concern for him.

Persuading a child is an art to get what you want

Persuasion is a very precise skill that no one can master. It is a process of changing or strengthening attitudes, and it may be a change in an act or behavior coming from the child. The parents seek to deter him from doing it, and to stay away from such behavior or behavior (lying, for example), so using the method Persuasion makes the child feel that his parents respect his mind and thinking, and that he has the first and last opinion in this situation, and that he alone has the decision, and that behavior is not an obligation imposed by his parents on him.

If persuasion is implemented correctly, the desired goal will be achieved, and there is a great similarity between persuasion and manipulation. It is difficult for many people to distinguish between them, but the difference between them is the intention of the persuading person, and when the relationship between parents and children reaches the point of persuasion, this means that they have understood his needs, desires, dreams, and goals, and the relationship between them has risen to the point of persuasion, and parents must know that persuasion is a mastered art. With constant practice, and whoever masters it will get what he wants with the least damage and the simplest methods. It is an excellent communication skill, and it is what brings people to a common ground on which they can converge on ideas, beliefs, and goals.